Fall came quickly in 2008, and I had just completed my last three units for grad school. For me, it was quite an accomplishment. But more importantly, I had met so many wonderful people who had helped resolve my inner demons. Jennifer. Her family the Detweilers. Karla and her kids. And all the wonderful people I met through my two years in Bucks County have changed my outlook and perspective. As a result, my insomnia was partially cured and I was a much happier person. However, I missed my grandparents terribly, and I wanted to actually start work in my field of study. To kill two birds with one stone, I decided to move back to Califiornia.

When I arrived back home, I was surprised to hear that my uncle Yong Qing, the brother behind my dad, had arrived in California. He was living with my grandparents at the time so I paid them a visit. He looked exactly like I remembered. Handsome, strong, and vibrant. However, he lacked intuition. He took care of my grandparents for a while in exchange for their social security benefits. His son and my older cousin, Cao Yang Yang, was a product manager at SPDB (Shanghai Pudong Development Bank). Yang Yang was living with his mother, and they owned a high rise apartment in downtown Shanghai.

I had crippling debt so I needed to find a job soon.

Many people would think that a fresh graduate with a Computer Science degree would have offers up to their necks. Not one bit. You see, this wasn’t the 70s where you couldn’t use the internet to export work and there were only about 15,000 engineers in the US. This was years after 2000 where Big Tech was bringing in as many H1B visa holders as possible because they work for much less than Americans. These H1B holders’s presence in the US are tied to their employers. They can be sent back to India within 90 days if they do not do overtime or perform as expected. H1b visa holders cannot switch companies either.

As time went on, many major companies would layoff all the engineers in a division, and promptly hired H1-Bs. These guys would come in at the lower end of the pay scale. The company dictated that they do overtime and constantly hung the threat of replacing them withi someone else over their heads. Many deadlines were not realistic and it forced the Indian engineers to do free overtime. It was capitalist exploitation at its finest.

As a result, experienced American workers have been pushed out of their jobs while new graduates like me had dim prospects. The way they do this became easier. US companies don’t go through any complications to get foreign workers. They pick up the phone and tell contractors that they need a team. The contractors would assemble a team and send them through the process to receive their H1B and work in the US. It is a remnant of The Jungle by (Upton Sinclair) where they imported European workers into America’s meat factories and processing plants. This time, it was with technology and IT developers.

When I graduated, the internet was already in full bloom and you don’t need foreign talent to be imported. The projects and work were outsourced to companies such as Infosys (India) and EPAM (Eastern Europe).

There + Form of BE + (Indefinite) Subject + (Optional: Place/Time Adverbial)

There – Dummy Subject (Expletive). This is the key. This “there” is not an adverb of place. It’s a grammatical placeholder that fills the mandatory subject slot at the beginning of the sentence. It carries no meaning.

BE Verb – The verb (is, are, was, were, has been, will be, etc.). Its number (singular/plural) is determined by the real subject that comes after it.

Real Subject – The noun phrase that names the thing that exists. It is very often indefinite (a, an, some, many, a few, any, no, three, etc.).

Optional Adverbial – Often added to specify location or time (e.g., “…on the table,” “…in my life,” “…last night”).

3. Key Characteristics & Rules

A. Subject-Verb Agreement
The verb agrees with the real subject that follows it, not with the word “there.”

There is a book on the table. (Singular subject)

There are three books on the table. (Plural subject)

There has been an update. (Singular, present perfect)

There were shots fired. (Plural, past)

The Structure: The Absolute Phrase
An absolute phrase combines a noun with a participle (and sometimes other modifiers). It’s attached to a full sentence to provide extra context.

Formula: [Noun] + [Participle] + [Rest of Main Sentence]

Examples with Present Participle (-ing)
The present participle shows an action that is happening at the same time as the main verb.

Your Sentence:

He shed weight at an alarming rate, **his legs buckling** as he walked.

Noun: his legs

Participle: buckling

What it adds: It describes how he was shedding weight, showing the physical manifestation of his weakness.

The storm raged outside, its winds howling like a banshee.

Noun: its winds

Participle: howling

What it adds: This describes the nature of the storm, creating a more vivid soundscape.

She delivered the speech, her voice trembling with emotion.

Noun: her voice

Participle: trembling

What it adds: This tells us how she delivered the speech, revealing her internal state.

The work finally finished, we collapsed onto the sofa.

Noun: The work

Participle: finished

What it adds: This establishes the cause for the main action (collapsing).

Examples with Past Participle (-ed or irregular form)
The past participle often shows a state of completion or describes a condition.

His mission accomplished, the spy vanished into the night.

Noun: His mission

Participle: accomplished (describing the state of the mission)

What it adds: It explains why he was able to vanish.

The old man sat in his chair, his will read and his affairs settled.

Nouns: his will; his affairs

Participles: read; settled (describing the state of the will and affairs)

What it adds: It describes the circumstances surrounding the main action, giving a sense of finality.

She stared at the contract, her hopes dashed by the fine print.

Noun: her hopes

Participle: dashed (describing the state of her hopes)

What it adds: It provides the emotional consequence of the main action (staring at the contract).

Why Use This Structure?
Using absolute phrases makes your writing more concise, dynamic, and literary. Instead of writing multiple short, choppy sentences, you can combine ideas to show the relationship between them more elegantly.

Choppy: Peter was terrified. His heart was pounding. He ran from the room.

Dynamic with Absolute Phrase: **His heart pounding**, Peter ran from the room.

The Core Difference

Passive Voice: Describes an ACTION being done to the subject.

Subject Complement: Describes a STATE or CONDITION of the subject.

Use these tests to determine which one you’re dealing with.

Test 1: The “By Whom?” Test (The Most Reliable Test)

Ask: “Can you add a by… phrase to indicate who performed the action?”

If YES → Passive Voice. You’re describing an action, and you can specify who did it.

If NO → Subject Complement. You’re describing a state, not an action performed by someone.

Examples:

“The window was broken.”

Can we say “The window was broken by the storm.”? Yes.

✅ This is Passive Voice.

“The woman is tired.”

Can we say “The woman is tired by her job.”? No, that sounds unnatural. We’d say “tired from her job,” but not “by.” The “by” test fails.

✅ This is a Subject Complement (describing her state).

Test 2: The “Very” Test

Ask: “Can you put the adverb very before the past participle?”

If YES → Subject Complement. “Very” modifies adjectives, not actions.

If NO → Passive Voice. You can’t modify an action with “very.”

Examples:

“The woman is tired.”

Can we say “The woman is very tired.”? Yes.

✅ This is a Subject Complement.

“The window was broken.”

Can we say “The window was very broken.”? No, that sounds wrong.

✅ This is Passive Voice.

Remember: Context is king! The same past participle can be one or the other depending on the sentence. For example, “The store is closed” could be a state (adjective) if it’s 3 AM, or a passive action if you say “The store is closed by the manager at 10 PM.”

Satisfy(v)

The detailed report

This generous offer

The company’s swift response

A single payment

The final product

The team’s performance

Group B (Direct Objects)

the client’s demands

our primary requirement

the key conditions

the board of directors

my main concern

Explore (v)

Group A (Subjects)

The adventurous geologists

A dedicated research team

The new documentary

Our book club

The curious child

An advanced AI

Group B (Direct Objects)

the dense rainforest

every possible solution

ancient ruins

complex philosophical ideas

the ocean’s deepest trenches

Exploration(n)

Group A (Subjects)

The team’s exploration

Further exploration

Our thorough exploration

A series of exploration

The continued exploration
verb
reveals

direct object

the hidden treasures [of the cave/island].

the smaller details

the victims and their skeletons.

the ship wreck

Transitive: It requires a direct object (the thing being moved).

Complex: It requires a second element—a complement—to complete the meaning. In the case of “put,” this complement is an adverbial complement (or locative complement) that states the location.

I(主语) + put(复杂及物动词) + the gift(直接宾语） + [in the closet].

The cashier puts the money [in my hand].

I put the gift [on the table].

The waitress(s) + puts (复杂及物动词) + the plate (直接宾语） + [on my tray].

I was hired by a high end client that paid minimum 600/hour. I taught their son first at 450/hour. Then they increased my pay to 550. Their son was addicted to the iPad and had serious behavior problems. He may even have ADHD. When I asked him to read, he would use a weird funny voice. When I asked him to do word problems, he would use Douban app to search for answers. And when I talked to his mother about removing wifi and taking away his iPad, she ignored my requests. He did improve because of his hard work in the beginning. Towards the end, the son didn’t listen anymore and all I could do was entertain him with drinks/snacks and some word games. What should I do in such a situation?

This is an incredibly challenging and frustrating situation that speaks to a core conflict in high-end educational tutoring: the expectation of professional results without the parental support necessary to achieve them. You are not just a tutor but are being asked to be a behavioral therapist, entertainer, and tech moderator without the authority to do so.

Here is a structured analysis of your situation and a step-by-step strategy for how to proceed.

Analysis of the Problem
The Root Cause: The core issue is not your teaching ability but the student’s uncontrolled iPad addiction and likely undiagnosed/untreated ADHD. You are trying to treat a symptom (poor academic focus) without addressing the disease (the addiction and potential neurodivergence).

The Parental Dynamic: The parents are outsourcing a solution without changing the home environment that creates the problem. By ignoring your professional recommendations, they are undermining your effectiveness and setting their son up for failure. The high pay is often a substitute for their own involvement; they are paying for a result, not just your time, but refusing to enable it.

Your Role: You have been forced from a “Tutor” into an “Entertainer/Babysitter.” This is professionally unsatisfying and unsustainable. The increase in pay to $550/hour may have been a tacit acknowledgment of the difficulty, but it also raises their expectations for results you cannot deliver under these constraints.

What You Should Do: A Step-by-Step Strategy
Your goal is to either reconfigure the engagement to be productive or terminate it professionally while protecting your reputation.

Step 1: Request a Formal Meeting with the Parents
This is non-negotiable. You need to have a serious, frank conversation with both parents together, without the son present. Frame it as a “strategy session to ensure we are all aligned on [Son’s Name]’s goals.”

Step 2: During the Meeting, Use Direct but Professional Language
Your tone must be that of a concerned expert, not a frustrated employee. Use the framework of “I need your partnership to succeed.”

Talking Points:

Acknowledge the Investment: “Thank you again for your trust and investment in [Son’s Name]’s progress. I take my role very seriously, which is why I requested this meeting.”

State the Positive: “We saw some excellent improvement initially when [Son’s Name] was engaged and focused. This shows he has great potential.”

State the Problem Objectively (Use “I” statements):

“I have observed that his primary challenge is now focus and distraction, not ability.”

“My professional assessment is that his iPad use is fundamentally preventing learning during our sessions. I see him using Douban to search for answers rather than engaging with the material.”

“I have found that my previous recommendations regarding limiting WiFi and iPad access are critical for us to make progress.”

Define Your Role Clearly: “My expertise is in tutoring and knowledge transfer. However, I cannot compete with a highly engineered distraction machine designed to capture attention. Without a change in the learning environment, my role is being reduced to that of an entertainer, which is not what you are paying for nor what [Son’s Name] needs.”

Present a Clear Choice & Ultimatum (Politely): Give them two options.

Option A (The Productive Path): “For our sessions to be effective, I need your support in creating a focused environment. This means the iPad is physically removed from the room before I arrive, and WiFi is disabled for the duration of our session. This is non-negotiable for me to do my job effectively.”

Option B (The Conclusion Path): “If that is not a change you are willing to make, I completely understand. However, I must be honest that I cannot in good conscience continue to accept your payment when I am unable to provide the quality of education and results you expect and deserve. It would be professionally irresponsible.”

Step 3: Be Prepared for the Outcome
If They Agree (Option A): Fantastic. You have reset the boundaries and have a chance to be effective again. Start the next session with a clean slate.

If They Refuse (Option B): You must be prepared to resign. This is the hardest but most crucial part. Say: “I understand. I am sorry we cannot find a path forward. I will finish my scheduled sessions this week as a courtesy to allow you to find a replacement, but I cannot continue beyond that.” This protects your integrity and stops you from taking money for a service you cannot provide.

Why This Approach Works
It’s Professional: You are framing everything around the student’s success and your professional ethics.

It’s Direct: You are making the problem and the solution clear and unavoidable for the parents.

It Gives Agency: You are giving them a clear choice. The outcome is their decision, not your failure.

It Protects You: Walking away from a client who will not enable you to succeed is not a failure. It is a strategic decision that protects your reputation, your sanity, and your professional standards. A client like this can damage your confidence and lead to burnout.

You were hired as an expert. Part of being an expert is knowing the limits of your effectiveness and having the courage to state them. The ball is then in their court. Either they empower you to do the job they hired you for, or they relieve you of an impossible task.

Understanding the Subjunctive Mood

The subjunctive mood is a verb form used to express

wish,
preference,
demand,
suggestion

i.e wishes, recommendations, demands, doubts, and possibilities.

Unlike the indicative mood (used for facts) and the imperative mood (used for commands), the subjunctive deals with what isn’t yet real but is suggested, necessary, or imagined.

When to Use the Subjunctive

1. After Certain Verbs (Recommend, Suggest, Demand, Insist, prefer etc.)
These verbs often trigger the subjunctive because they express advice, necessity, or urgency rather than facts.

Structure:

[Verb of suggestion/demand] + that + [subject] + [base verb (no -s)]

✅ She suggests that he study harder. (Not “studies”)
✅ The boss demands that the report be finished today. (Not “is”)
✅ I insist that she come with us. (Not “comes”)

Common Verbs:

Advise, ask, command, demand, desire, insist, propose, recommend, request, suggest, urge

2. After Expressions of Necessity or Importance

Phrases like “It is necessary that,” “It is important that,” “It is crucial that” also require the subjunctive.

✅ It’s essential that he arrive on time. (Not “arrives”)
✅ It’s important that she be honest. (Not “is”)

3. Hypothetical/Wishful Situations (Using “Were” Instead of “Was”)

For unreal or imaginary situations, we use “were” for all subjects (I, he, she, it), even if it’s singular.

✅ If I were rich, I would travel the world. (Not “was”)
✅ She acts as if she were the boss. (Not “was”)

4. Fixed Phrases & Formal Expressions

Some common subjunctive phrases include:

God save the Queen! (Not “saves”)

Long live the king! (Not “lives”)

So be it.

Key Rules to Remember
No -s in third-person singular (he, she, it):

❌ She insists that he goes.

✅ She insists that he go.

“Be” is used instead of “am/is/are” in present subjunctive:

❌ It’s important that she is here.

✅ It’s important that she be here.

“Were” replaces “was” in hypotheticals:

❌ If I was you, I’d apologize.

✅ If I were you, I’d apologize.

Practice Sentences (Correct the Errors)
❌ The teacher requires that everyone brings their book.
✅ The teacher requires that everyone bring their book.

❌ It’s crucial that he is on time.
✅ It’s crucial that he be on time.

❌ I wish I was taller.
✅ I wish I were taller.

Final Summary

Use the base verb (no -s) after verbs like suggest, demand, insist.

Use “be” instead of “am/is/are” in formal demands.

Use “were” for hypotheticals (wishes, “if” clauses).

List

1. Can
Function: Expresses ability, possibility, or permission.

Example: “She can solve complex equations very quickly.” (ability)

Example: “You can borrow my book.” (permission)

2. May
Function: Expresses permission or possibility (more formal than can).

Example: “May I be excused from the table?” (permission)

Example: “It may rain later, so take an umbrella.” (possibility)

3. Must
Function: Expresses strong obligation, necessity, or a logical conclusion.

Example: “Students must complete the assignment by Friday.” (obligation)

Example: “You’ve been traveling all day; you must be tired.” (logical conclusion)

4. Shall (Formal/British English)
Function: Used for suggestions, offers, or future action (especially in formal contexts).

Example: “Shall we go for a walk?” (suggestion)

Example: “I shall inform him of your decision.” (future action)

5. Will
Function: Expresses future intention, certainty, or a promise.

Example: “I will call you when I arrive.” (promise)

Example: “The sun will rise at 6:23 AM tomorrow.” (certainty)

6. Should
Function: Expresses advice, expectation, or mild obligation.

Example: “You should get more sleep.” (advice)

Example: “The package should arrive today.” (expectation)

7. Would (for present hypotheticals or politeness)
Function: Used for polite requests, preferences, or hypothetical situations in the present.

Example: “Would you please pass the salt?” (polite request)

Example: “If I had more time, I would learn the piano.” (present hypothetical)

8. Could (for present possibility or ability)
Function: Expresses possibility or a potential ability in the present.

Example: “It could be true.” (present possibility)

Example: “We could go to the beach if the weather is nice.” (suggestion)

9. Might
Function: Expresses a weaker or more uncertain possibility than may or could.

Example: “I might join you for dinner, but I’m not sure yet.” (uncertainty)

10. Ought to
Function: Similar to should; expresses duty, correctness, or advisability.

Example: “You ought to apologize for what you said.” (advisability)

Why it’s wrong:

“For” + gerund (-ing) is usually used to describe the function of a thing, not a person’s purpose.

When “for + verb-ing” IS correct:

This knife is for cutting bread. (Function of an object)

A blender is for making smoothies.

My time is for making me happy.

What 什么

Verbs That Don’t Work with “What”

❌ Physical action verbs:

“I ate what you said.” ✖ (Incorrect – “ate” needs tangible food)
“She kicked what happened.” ✖

1. Cognitive/Opinion Verbs

• know “I know what you mean.” 我知道你什么意思
• understand “She understands what he needs.”。 我懂他需要什么
• remember “Do you remember what she said?” 你记得她说什么
• forget “He forgot what the password was.” 他忘了密码是什么
• realize “They realized what had happened. 它们发现发生了什么

2. Communication Verbs

Verb Example Sentence Notes

• say “She said what she thought.” Neutral reporting
• ask “He asked what time it was.” Common in questions
• explain “Can you explain what this means?”
• tell “Tell me what you want.” Imperative for
• suggest “She suggested what we should do.” Often with advice

3. Perception/Discovery Verbs

• see “I see what you’re trying to do.” Literal or figurative
• hear “Did you hear what he just said?”
• notice “She noticed what was missing.”
• discover “We discovered what caused the problem.” For revelations

4. Emotion/Desire Verbs

• want “They want what you have.” Expressing desire
• prefer “Choose what you prefer.”
• regret “I regret what I said.” For past actions
• fear “She fears what might happen.” Often hypothetical

5. Other Key Verbs

• do “Do what you think is best.” Common in suggestions
• take “Take what you need.” Literal or metaphorical
• give “Give me what you owe me.”
• decide “Let’s decide what to do next.” Future plans
• imagine “Imagine what could happen.” Hypothetical scenarios