I was hired by a high end client that paid minimum 600/hour. I taught their son first at 450/hour. Then they increased my pay to 550. Their son was addicted to the iPad and had serious behavior problems. He may even have ADHD. When I asked him to read, he would use a weird funny voice. When I asked him to do word problems, he would use Douban app to search for answers. And when I talked to his mother about removing wifi and taking away his iPad, she ignored my requests. He did improve because of his hard work in the beginning. Towards the end, the son didn’t listen anymore and all I could do was entertain him with drinks/snacks and some word games. What should I do in such a situation?

This is an incredibly challenging and frustrating situation that speaks to a core conflict in high-end educational tutoring: the expectation of professional results without the parental support necessary to achieve them. You are not just a tutor but are being asked to be a behavioral therapist, entertainer, and tech moderator without the authority to do so.

Here is a structured analysis of your situation and a step-by-step strategy for how to proceed.

Analysis of the Problem
The Root Cause: The core issue is not your teaching ability but the student’s uncontrolled iPad addiction and likely undiagnosed/untreated ADHD. You are trying to treat a symptom (poor academic focus) without addressing the disease (the addiction and potential neurodivergence).

The Parental Dynamic: The parents are outsourcing a solution without changing the home environment that creates the problem. By ignoring your professional recommendations, they are undermining your effectiveness and setting their son up for failure. The high pay is often a substitute for their own involvement; they are paying for a result, not just your time, but refusing to enable it.

Your Role: You have been forced from a “Tutor” into an “Entertainer/Babysitter.” This is professionally unsatisfying and unsustainable. The increase in pay to $550/hour may have been a tacit acknowledgment of the difficulty, but it also raises their expectations for results you cannot deliver under these constraints.

What You Should Do: A Step-by-Step Strategy
Your goal is to either reconfigure the engagement to be productive or terminate it professionally while protecting your reputation.

Step 1: Request a Formal Meeting with the Parents
This is non-negotiable. You need to have a serious, frank conversation with both parents together, without the son present. Frame it as a “strategy session to ensure we are all aligned on [Son’s Name]’s goals.”

Step 2: During the Meeting, Use Direct but Professional Language
Your tone must be that of a concerned expert, not a frustrated employee. Use the framework of “I need your partnership to succeed.”

Talking Points:

Acknowledge the Investment: “Thank you again for your trust and investment in [Son’s Name]’s progress. I take my role very seriously, which is why I requested this meeting.”

State the Positive: “We saw some excellent improvement initially when [Son’s Name] was engaged and focused. This shows he has great potential.”

State the Problem Objectively (Use “I” statements):

“I have observed that his primary challenge is now focus and distraction, not ability.”

“My professional assessment is that his iPad use is fundamentally preventing learning during our sessions. I see him using Douban to search for answers rather than engaging with the material.”

“I have found that my previous recommendations regarding limiting WiFi and iPad access are critical for us to make progress.”

Define Your Role Clearly: “My expertise is in tutoring and knowledge transfer. However, I cannot compete with a highly engineered distraction machine designed to capture attention. Without a change in the learning environment, my role is being reduced to that of an entertainer, which is not what you are paying for nor what [Son’s Name] needs.”

Present a Clear Choice & Ultimatum (Politely): Give them two options.

Option A (The Productive Path): “For our sessions to be effective, I need your support in creating a focused environment. This means the iPad is physically removed from the room before I arrive, and WiFi is disabled for the duration of our session. This is non-negotiable for me to do my job effectively.”

Option B (The Conclusion Path): “If that is not a change you are willing to make, I completely understand. However, I must be honest that I cannot in good conscience continue to accept your payment when I am unable to provide the quality of education and results you expect and deserve. It would be professionally irresponsible.”

Step 3: Be Prepared for the Outcome
If They Agree (Option A): Fantastic. You have reset the boundaries and have a chance to be effective again. Start the next session with a clean slate.

If They Refuse (Option B): You must be prepared to resign. This is the hardest but most crucial part. Say: “I understand. I am sorry we cannot find a path forward. I will finish my scheduled sessions this week as a courtesy to allow you to find a replacement, but I cannot continue beyond that.” This protects your integrity and stops you from taking money for a service you cannot provide.

Why This Approach Works
It’s Professional: You are framing everything around the student’s success and your professional ethics.

It’s Direct: You are making the problem and the solution clear and unavoidable for the parents.

It Gives Agency: You are giving them a clear choice. The outcome is their decision, not your failure.

It Protects You: Walking away from a client who will not enable you to succeed is not a failure. It is a strategic decision that protects your reputation, your sanity, and your professional standards. A client like this can damage your confidence and lead to burnout.

You were hired as an expert. Part of being an expert is knowing the limits of your effectiveness and having the courage to state them. The ball is then in their court. Either they empower you to do the job they hired you for, or they relieve you of an impossible task.

Here are three examples of complex sentences with two different dependent clauses (one subordinate and one relative, or two different types of subordinates):

Example 1:
“Because the rain was heavy, the game, which had been scheduled for hours, was canceled.”

Dependent 1 (Adverbial): “Because the rain was heavy” (explains why)

Dependent 2 (Relative): “which had been scheduled for hours” (adds extra info about the game)

Example 2:
“Although she studied hard, she failed the test that her teacher had warned her about.”

Dependent 1 (Adverbial): “Although she studied hard” (contrasting clause)

Dependent 2 (Relative): “that her teacher had warned her about” (describes the test)

Example 3:
“When the alarm sounded, the workers, who were still in the building, evacuated immediately.”

Dependent 1 (Adverbial): “When the alarm sounded” (time clause)

Dependent 2 (Relative): “who were still in the building” (describes the workers)

Example 1: (Adverbial + Noun Clause)
“After the meeting ended, everyone realized that the plan would not work.”

Dependent 1 (Adverbial – Time): “After the meeting ended”

Dependent 2 (Noun Clause – Object): “that the plan would not work”

Example 2: (Conditional + Adverbial Clause)
“If you leave now, you’ll arrive before the concert starts.”

Dependent 1 (Conditional – “If” clause): “If you leave now”

Dependent 2 (Adverbial – Time): “before the concert starts”

Example 3: (Concessive + Purpose Clause)
“Even though she was tired, she stayed up so that she could finish her project.”

Dependent 1 (Concessive – Contrast): “Even though she was tired”

Dependent 2 (Purpose – “So that” clause): “so that she could finish her project”

Bonus Example: (Reason + Result Clause)
“Because the roads were icy, the school closed early so that students could get home safely.”

Dependent 1 (Reason – “Because” clause): “Because the roads were icy”

Dependent 2 (Result – “So that” clause): “so that students could get home safely”

Understanding the Subjunctive Mood

The subjunctive mood is a verb form used to express

wish,
preference,
demand,
suggestion

i.e wishes, recommendations, demands, doubts, and possibilities.

Unlike the indicative mood (used for facts) and the imperative mood (used for commands), the subjunctive deals with what isn’t yet real but is suggested, necessary, or imagined.

When to Use the Subjunctive

1. After Certain Verbs (Recommend, Suggest, Demand, Insist, prefer etc.)
These verbs often trigger the subjunctive because they express advice, necessity, or urgency rather than facts.

Structure:

[Verb of suggestion/demand] + that + [subject] + [base verb (no -s)]

✅ She suggests that he study harder. (Not “studies”)
✅ The boss demands that the report be finished today. (Not “is”)
✅ I insist that she come with us. (Not “comes”)

Common Verbs:

Advise, ask, command, demand, desire, insist, propose, recommend, request, suggest, urge

2. After Expressions of Necessity or Importance

Phrases like “It is necessary that,” “It is important that,” “It is crucial that” also require the subjunctive.

✅ It’s essential that he arrive on time. (Not “arrives”)
✅ It’s important that she be honest. (Not “is”)

3. Hypothetical/Wishful Situations (Using “Were” Instead of “Was”)

For unreal or imaginary situations, we use “were” for all subjects (I, he, she, it), even if it’s singular.

✅ If I were rich, I would travel the world. (Not “was”)
✅ She acts as if she were the boss. (Not “was”)

4. Fixed Phrases & Formal Expressions

Some common subjunctive phrases include:

God save the Queen! (Not “saves”)

Long live the king! (Not “lives”)

So be it.

Key Rules to Remember
No -s in third-person singular (he, she, it):

❌ She insists that he goes.

✅ She insists that he go.

“Be” is used instead of “am/is/are” in present subjunctive:

❌ It’s important that she is here.

✅ It’s important that she be here.

“Were” replaces “was” in hypotheticals:

❌ If I was you, I’d apologize.

✅ If I were you, I’d apologize.

Practice Sentences (Correct the Errors)
❌ The teacher requires that everyone brings their book.
✅ The teacher requires that everyone bring their book.

❌ It’s crucial that he is on time.
✅ It’s crucial that he be on time.

❌ I wish I was taller.
✅ I wish I were taller.

Final Summary
Use the base verb (no -s) after verbs like suggest, demand, insist.

Use “be” instead of “am/is/are” in formal demands.

Use “were” for hypotheticals (wishes, “if” clauses).

Why it’s wrong:

“For” + gerund (-ing) is usually used to describe the function of a thing, not a person’s purpose.

When “for + verb-ing” IS correct:

This knife is for cutting bread. (Function of an object)

A blender is for making smoothies.

My time is for making me happy.

What 什么

Verbs That Don’t Work with “What”

❌ Physical action verbs:

“I ate what you said.” ✖ (Incorrect – “ate” needs tangible food)
“She kicked what happened.” ✖

1. Cognitive/Opinion Verbs

• know “I know what you mean.” 我知道你什么意思
• understand “She understands what he needs.”。 我懂他需要什么
• remember “Do you remember what she said?” 你记得她说什么
• forget “He forgot what the password was.” 他忘了密码是什么
• realize “They realized what had happened. 它们发现发生了什么

2. Communication Verbs

Verb Example Sentence Notes

• say “She said what she thought.” Neutral reporting
• ask “He asked what time it was.” Common in questions
• explain “Can you explain what this means?”
• tell “Tell me what you want.” Imperative for
• suggest “She suggested what we should do.” Often with advice

3. Perception/Discovery Verbs

• see “I see what you’re trying to do.” Literal or figurative
• hear “Did you hear what he just said?”
• notice “She noticed what was missing.”
• discover “We discovered what caused the problem.” For revelations

4. Emotion/Desire Verbs

• want “They want what you have.” Expressing desire
• prefer “Choose what you prefer.”
• regret “I regret what I said.” For past actions
• fear “She fears what might happen.” Often hypothetical

5. Other Key Verbs

• do “Do what you think is best.” Common in suggestions
• take “Take what you need.” Literal or metaphorical
• give “Give me what you owe me.”
• decide “Let’s decide what to do next.” Future plans
• imagine “Imagine what could happen.” Hypothetical scenarios

Once upon a time, there was a very rich man called Mr. Bean.

There is a space between the period and the name –> [Mr._Bean]

He was an astronaut.

One day, he woke up and got ready to work.

He brushed his teeth, washed his face[,] and went to NASA.

A,[ ]B,[ ]and C. Remember, the comma is behind the letter and there is space after it.

He saw his friend Mr. Tad.

“Hi[,]” said Tad.

”[D]o you think we will go to another planet today?” Tad asked.

“Maybe[,]” said Bean.

Suddenly, the intercom blared.

“Ladies and gentleman, Bean and Tad are gonna go to [M]ars. Mr.Bean and Mr.Tad, please report to room 24354692047384, East door at 34 door number, [rocket 23436478785727707].

Then, Bean and Tad look[ed] at each other and shouted “Yay!!!!”.

The[y] quickly [went] to room 24354692047384 East door at 34 door number rocket 23436478785727707.

They excitedly counted to three.

They blasted off.

[Three] [d]ays later[,] they landed [on] [M]ars.

They started to explore mars.

Suddenly, Bean said ”I found a beautiful rock!”.

They asked [headquarters] if they could collect objects. [Headquarters permitted], so they pick[ed] up the rock to take home.

They [kept] exploring and found more beautiful rocks[,] similar to the rocks before.

Then,Tad found a little creature behind a rock.

When he walked up close, he saw [that] it was a [painting]!

”I believe that they are aliens!” said Tad.

He took the art and put it in his bag.

Then, they returned to Earth.

The scientist said the rock weighed 20 grams.

[The] good news is [that] the rock is valuable, and [it is worth a lot of money].

But Bean and Tad said no and wanted to put it in the museum.

Two days later,they [gave] a speech.

Bean said ”Ladies and [gentleman], we all went to [M]ars and wanted to show what we found”.

He pulled out the valuable rock.

”This rock is worth 10,000,000,000,000$”, said Tad.

”But we will put it in the museum[,]” said Bean.

Then Bean pulled out [the painting of the] alien.

”[T]his is an art of an alien. That means they must be alien on mars”
said Tad.

”[T]his will [als] be in the museum to”said Bean.

Everyone clapped.

Below – implies granting something as an honor or gift, often from a position of authority. It can sound pretentious when applied to innate traits (like health or athleticism) because it implies you chose to grant them. Use it for deliberate, ceremonial acts—not biological inheritance.

Bestow‌ typically pairs with:

→ Honors (bestow an award)

The king ‌bestowed‌ knighthood ‌upon‌ the brave soldier.
The George Cross is ‌bestowed on‌ civilians for bravery.

→ Divine/gifts (bestow blessings)

Alchemists sought to ‌bestow‌ eternal life through elixirs.
Education ‌bestows‌ critical thinking skills ‌on‌ students.
The ritual ‌bestowed‌ spiritual protection ‌on‌ the community.

Caution: When Not to Use “Bestow”

Everyday Scenarios:
❌ “She bestowed a coffee mug on her coworker.”
(Use “gave” instead—”bestow” is too lofty for mundane objects.)

Innate Traits:
❌ “He bestowed blue eyes on his children.”
(Use “passed down” or “inherited”—traits aren’t actively “granted.”)

Essential vs Crucial

When to Choose One Over the Other

Use “essential” for fundamental ingredient, necessity.

Use “crucial” for

• high importance,
• pivotal moments
• high-stakes dependencies.

Example Pair:

“A sharp knife is essential for cooking.” (Basic tool)

“Precision was crucial when slicing the delicate fish.” (Critical moment)

1. “This button is _crucial_ to restart the system. Do NOT press it unless absolutely necessary.”

2. “While flour is _essential_ for bread, yeast is what makes it rise.”

3. “The witness’s testimony was _crucial_ to convict the suspect.”

4. “In this desert climate, water isn’t just important—it’s _essential_.”

5. “For a comedian, timing isn’t just helpful—it’s crucial.”

Answers & Nuanced Explanations

(a) crucial

The button is pivotal (its misuse could cause major consequences). “Essential” would imply it’s required to function, but the warning suggests high stakes.

(a) essential

Flour is a basic ingredient (without it, bread can’t exist). Yeast is crucial for rising (a transformative effect).

(b) crucial

The testimony was decisive (directly led to conviction). “Essential” would imply no conviction could happen without it, which may overstate its role.

(b) essential

Water is a fundamental need for survival in deserts. “Crucial” would fit if discussing a specific scenario (e.g., “Finding an oasis was crucial”).

(b) crucial

Timing makes or breaks a joke’s success (pivotal impact). “Essential” would imply comedy is impossible without it, which is too absolute.

Bonus: “Vital”

A strong synonym for both, but leans toward life-or-death urgency:

The vaccine is vital to stopping the outbreak.
In a hostage situation, negotiation is _vital_ to saving lives.
For astronauts, oxygen is _vital_ for survival.

Summary:

Essential = Required for existence/function.

Crucial = Critical to a specific outcome.

Crucial vs Imperative

Key Difference:

“Crucial” = General importance, but Not urgent

“Trust is crucial in any strong relationship.”

“Early detection is crucial in treating cancer effectively.”

“Imperative” = urgent order! Urgency!

Example Comparison:

It’s _imperative_ to submit these legal documents by 5 PM today

“It’s imperative that you drink water during the marathon.” (You must do it—strong recommendation/command)

It is imperative to refrigerate mayonnaise-based salads. (√)

It is urgent that we refrigerate…etc.

For dosage amount, it is imperative to read the directions. √

It is urgent. It is a must!

Preserverance is crucial to success.!

More Examples:

🏆 “Crucial” (General Importance):

“Teamwork is crucial for winning championships.” (Key factor, but not a strict rule.)

“Patience is crucial when learning a new skill.”

⚡ “Imperative” (Strong Necessity):

“It’s imperative to submit the application by midnight.” (Deadline = mandatory!)

“For safety, wearing a helmet is imperative.”

After years of immersion, the persistent inability to use English as a second language has raised significant pedagogical concerns among Chinese parents and students alike.

经过多年的英语学习，中国学生仍然无法将英语作为第二语言熟练使用，这一现象已引起家长和教育界的广泛关注。

Upon closer scrutiny, we discover that students prioritize rote memorization instead of conceptual learning, and that their classroom textbooks are the culprit behind this phenomenon.

经过深入分析，我们发现学生普遍偏重死记硬背而非理解性学习，而现行的课堂教材正是这一现象的症结所在。

Naturally, China does not mandate English as a second language like Singapore, where IELTS and TOEFL scores rank above global average.

与新加坡将英语列为官方第二语言不同，中国并未采用同样政策——在新加坡，学生的雅思和托福成绩常年高于全球平均水平。

Thus, Chinese students lack the opportunity and environment to practice.
因此，中国学生普遍缺乏英语实践的机会和语言环境。

To remedy this predicament, language structure, grammar, and concepts should be taught from an early age because mastering fundamentals provides the necessary framework to develop English proficiency.

为扭转这一困境，应从幼年起系统教授语言结构、语法规则及核心概念——因为夯实基础方能搭建起培养英语能力的必要框架。

With the help of qualified instructors, sentence structures and grammar become the training ground where students can foster and grow.

在优秀教师的引导下，句子结构与语法规则将成为学生锤炼语言能力的训练场，使其英语水平得以持续提升。

Beyond the lack of a natural English-speaking environment, another critical issue lies in textbooks themselves.

除了缺乏自然的英语语言环境外，另一个关键问题在于教材本身。

In other words, scholastic material used in the vast majority of China’s public institutions has become an impediment to progress because they lack proper demonstration of English concepts, thus undermining students’ progress and potential.

换言之，中国绝大多数公立学校采用的教材非但未能有效阐释英语核心概念，反而成为学生能力发展的阻碍，制约了他们的进步空间与潜能发挥。

For example, elementary and middle school books do not mention nouns, adjectives, or verbs, which are the foundation of the English language.

例如，现行中小学教材甚至完全不提名词、形容词和动词这些英语语法基石。

Rather, they encourage mechanical memorization by presenting whole sentences without mentioning language theory.

相反，这些教材只提供整句让学生机械记忆，却对语言理论只字不提。

This reduces the effectiveness of the lesson and masks the underlying reasons why English is used in such ways.

这种做法不仅降低了教学效果，更掩盖了英语语言规律背后的逻辑本质。

The material neglects the crucial aspects of English, resulting in ubiquitous exasperation among students and chagrin among educators who witness their struggle.

现行教材对英语核心要素的忽视，既造成了学生的普遍困惑，也让目睹这种困境的教育工作者倍感沮丧。

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life.

Why do you think that is the case?

rephrase –

Scholastic performance linked to job success have attracted highly skilled professionals to lead top-tier corporations the world has to offer. Despite this, there are just as many college dropouts who have built business empires and successful lives. This essay argues that while academic achievements dictate our classroom performance, they are weak indicators of our future prosperity, happiness, and success.

Revised:

Graduates with exceptional scholastic performances often receive lucrative offers from top global corporations. However, an equal number of college dropouts–like Steve Jobs and Mark Z– have debunked this assumption by building business empires and achieving dominance in their respective fields. This essay argues that while academic achievements dictate our classroom performance, they are weak indicators of our future prosperity, happiness, and success.

Introduction

Paraphrase the question.

State your clear opinion (thesis statement).

Briefly mention that while some people argue X, you believe Y.

2. Body Paragraph 1: Acknowledge the Opposing View

Topic Sentence: Admit that there is some validity to the opposing argument.

Explanation: Explain why some people hold this view (1-2 sentences).

Example (if applicable): Provide a supporting example.

Concession phrase:

“While it is true that…”

“Admittedly, some argue that…”

3. Body Paragraph 2: Counter-Argue & Refute

Topic Sentence: Transition to why this view is limited/flawed.

Counter-argument: Explain why the opposing argument is weak or incomplete.

Stronger supporting points: Present your stance with stronger reasoning/evidence.

Example (if needed): Further justify your position.

Useful phrases:

“However, this argument fails to consider…”

“Despite this, a more compelling perspective is…”

4. Body Paragraph 3 (Optional): Reinforce Your Position

Provide additional reasons/examples supporting your view.

Make sure it aligns with your thesis.

5. Conclusion

Restate your opinion in a stronger, more nuanced way (showing depth).

Summarize why your argument outweighs the opposing view.