Usage issues
He (subj) glides (v)
[through the water] // where?
[like an eel] // how?
[to catch the freshest fish]. // why? note: fish is plural
There is no strict grammatical limit to the number of prepositional phrases you can combine for a subject in English, but practical considerations apply. While theoretically, you could construct a subject with numerous prepositional phrases, doing so can lead to sentences that are overly complex and difficult to read.
For example, you could say:
“The book on the table in the corner of the room under the window with the beautiful curtains belongs to my friend.”
In this example, there are multiple prepositional phrases used to specify the noun “book.” However, clarity and readability can suffer as you add more phrases.
In formal writing and communication, it’s generally advisable to keep sentences concise and clear. A good rule of thumb is to make sure your audience can easily follow your meaning. If a sentence becomes too convoluted, it may be better to break it into shorter, clearer sentences.
How do I break convoluted phrases into shorter clearer sentences?
Breaking convoluted prepositional phrases into shorter, clearer sentences involves identifying the core ideas and rearranging them for improved clarity. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help you:
Identify the Main Idea: Look for the main subject and verb in the original sentence. Understand what the sentence is trying to convey.
Isolate Prepositional Phrases: Find the prepositional phrases that are making the sentence lengthy or complex. Prepositional phrases often begin with words like “in,” “on,” “at,” “around,” “with,” “for,” etc.
Extract Key Information: Break down the information in the prepositional phrases into simpler parts. Consider what each phrase adds to the overall meaning.
Create Shorter Sentences: Rewrite the ideas using shorter sentences. Focus on clarity and ensure that each sentence conveys one main idea.
Use Clear Vocabulary: Opt for straightforward vocabulary that will enhance understanding without sacrificing meaning.
Check for Flow: When you write multiple sentences, ensure there’s a logical flow between them that makes it easy for the reader to follow.
Example
Original Sentence:
The proposal submitted by the committee in response to the recent changes in regulations put forth by the board of directors was unanimously accepted.
Breaking It Down:
Identify the Main Idea: The proposal was accepted.
Isolate Prepositional Phrases:
“submitted by the committee”
“in response to recent changes”
“in regulations”
“put forth by the board of directors”
Extract Key Information:
The committee submitted a proposal.
The proposal addressed recent regulatory changes.
The board of directors introduced the changes.
Create Shorter Sentences:
The committee submitted a proposal.
The proposal addressed recent changes in regulations.
The board of directors introduced these changes.
It was unanimously accepted.
Put it all together:
The committee submitted a proposal. This proposal addressed recent changes in regulations introduced by the board of directors. It was unanimously accepted.
By following these steps, you can effectively break down convoluted sentences into clearer, more concise statements.
Removing Ambiguity with prepositional phrases
Joe fed the shark in the cage.
(Does the prepositional phrase tell us where Joe was when he fed the shark, or does it tell us which shark Joe fed? In other words, is “in the cage” functioning as an adverb modifying “fed”
Joe (fed) the shark [in the cage]. // Joe went into the cage and fed that shark.
or an adjective modifying “shark?
Joe fed (the shark) [in the cage]. // so…there are sharks elsewhere ‘outside’ of the cage.
1) If you read it as an adverb (i.e., telling us where Joe was), you might assume there was just one shark.
2) If you read it as an adjective (i.e., “the shark that was in the cage”), you would assume there were other sharks.)
You can usually eliminate ambiguity by rewording your sentence with a relative clause:
- Joe was in the cage when he fed the shark. √
- Joe fed the shark that was in the cage. √
If your prepositional phrase is ambiguous, move it next to (usually immediately to the right of) whatever it’s meant to be modifying.
Ambiguous:
[is glass bottles] is meant to function as an adverb and modify ‘sell’?
or function as adjective and modify noun ‘anyone’?
We will not sell paraffin to anyone in glass bottles. X
Correct:
Move it after what you’re trying to modify.
We will not sell paraffin in glass bottles to anyone. √
Ambiguous:
Simon and his mother were reunited after 52 years in McDonald’s. X
[in McDonald’s] was meant to modify “reunited” but when we put it at the end it reads as if after 52 years in McDonald’s, they reunited.
This is not what we’re. trying to say. Hence, we want to put prepositional phrase “in McDonald’s” AFTER what we’re trying to modify: reunited. We want to say they were reunited in McDonald’s, so we move the location McDonald’s after ‘reunited’.
Correct:
Simon and his mother were reunited [in McDonald’s] after 52 years.