REME Feedback – war money

1) Many developed countries spend a large amount of money every year on manufacturing weapons to defend themselves although they are actually not at war. paraphrase, then thesis

2) Why is this the case? List your reaasons. first, second

3) Do you think these countries should spend the money on helping citizens of poor countries? Talk about for both side

Intro

So let’s see what’s happening. In the intro paragraph, we see a paraphrase of 1) and a thesis for 3):

“In is a fact that many developed countries spend a huge amount of money every year on developing and manufacturing weapons to defend themselves although they are not at war with any other country. ”

Then the 2nd sentence which is the thesis and addresses 3):

“In the meantime, millions of people in underdeveloped countries still live in extreme poverty and are in desperate need of fresh water, food and basic medicine.”

The author is saying this is in fact happening.

First Paragraph address the questions “Why is this the case?”

For the first paragraph, the author answers 1) by saying there are two reasons. Remember that when we have a question, we need to list points to answer the question:

1) “The main one is that many leaders and politicians in developed countries are realists who tend to view conflicts, both domestic and international ones, as imminent threats to national security.”

He then backs it up with some examples and data. Then he addresses the second reason, which is lobbying:

2) Besides this hard-line attitude of government heads and politicians, there is another factor at play in this matter. Successful lobbying in parliament…etc

The second paragraph address the next issue which is 3) the author is saying ‘yes we should help!’:

“In the light of this come people have come with the idea that rich countries should use the money currently spend on making weapons to help people living in poor countries”.

When we see a ‘should’ in a question, we should argue for both sides. The author argues why rich countries should use money to help the poor, and then he also goes to the other side and says that he understands most rich countries are already generous donors and have their plates full.